Chuck Versus The Rest Of His Life
by K8e773
Summary: This story picks up where the show leaves off. Does Sarah get her memory back? How are Chuck and Sarah going to spend the rest of their lives?
1. Chuck Versus the Kiss

Sarah pulled away from the kiss tears welling in her eyes. She looked at Chuck, his face full of hope. "So?" he asked his voice tight.

Despite her effort to stop them, tears rolled unbidden down her face. She shook her head, a small jerk so tiny Chuck almost missed it. Sarah buried her face in Chuck's shirt. Sarah chastised herself for believing a magic kiss could fix everything. Since when was she the kind of girl to believe in magic kisses. Sobs wracked her entire body. There was no doubt in her mind about one thing though, she would never kiss another man as long as she lived. She could never after feeling the tenderness of Chuck's lips on hers.

Sarah felt Chuck's shoulders shaking and his arms wrap tightly around her. For the first time she could remember in her whole life, she felt safe.

They sat there like that for what felt like hours, the sun dipped low in the sky and a breeze blew chilly off the ocean. Neither could do anything but hold the other and cry for everything they had lost. Chuck knew what that was, Sarah didn't but it didn't matter they both knew it was there.

Chuck was finally the one to pull back, Sarah looked up. His face was stoic even though his eyes were red and puffy. He took a deep breath and said, "Well, Sarah Walker, let me take you home," as he stood and extended a hand to her.

Sarah wiped the tears from her eyes and took his hand. They didn't talk on the drive. Sarah didn't know where they were going. She didn't remember the city she had lived in the past five years but Chuck seemed to be driving on autopilot. His eyes never strayed from the road but he looked like he was a million miles away.

Sarah expected Chuck to drop her off at her apartment but he didn't, he took her to their apartment together. The apartment was vaguely familiar from her assignment with Quinn but she didn't remember it from before. She liked it though; it was cozy and homey with small touches of nerd paraphernalia. She suspected those were Chuck's decorating choices but she also saw small touches that looked like things she would have chosen.

Chuck rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't know what to say or do next. "Um, are you hungry?" he asked.

"Yea sure," she wasn't but she plastered on a fake smile.

Chuck made grilled cheese. The both sat in silence staring at the food. Neither felt hungry. Chuck took a bite, he felt like he was going to be sick. He chewed that one bite for five minutes before he finally swallowed it. It stuck like a lump in his throat. Sarah never touched hers.

"What am I doing here?" Sarah wondered to herself. She was very seriously considering waiting until Chuck fell asleep and leaving. He would be better off without her, she reasoned. Until he reached out and grabbed her hand.

That same feeling she felt earlier when they kissed radiated throughout her chest, her stomach did flips and it was all she could do not to start crying. She knew something deep and wonderful was there, but she couldn't access it.

Sarah pulled her hand back, "I'm tired, I think I'm just going to go to bed if thats ok," she said getting up so quickly she almost knocked her chair over. She quickly retreated into the bedroom.

Chuck sunk his head into his hands. He had never felt this alone, especially not with Sarah. With Ellie, Awesome and Casey all gone, plus Morgan and Alex were off in their own little world, he was truly all alone to pick up the pieces. No more missions, no more CIA, just Chuck and Sarah.

Chuck walked back to their bedroom. Sarah was sitting on their bed staring straight forward, tears falling down her face. Chuck knocked lightly on the door frame.

Sarah wiped her eyes and turned to him. Chuck didn't know what to do. "I'm so sorry, I just don't remember," Sarah choked through her tears.

Chuck sat down on the bed and wrapped an arm around her, "Its ok Sarah, we can get through this." He pulled down the blankets and motioned for her to crawl under. "I'm going to sleep in the guest room ok? Sleep tight Sarah," Chuck said giving her a soft kiss on the forehead.

Sarah sniffled and nodded. She felt a small wave of relief wash over her, she wasn't sure if she could handle sleeping next to him. Chuck walked to the door and before he shut off the light he said, "Sarah, I love you," and flipped the switch and closed the door behind him.

**AN: I hope you liked the chapter, more to come, please review. **


	2. Chuck Versus the Nightmare

**AN: I had some questions about this so I wanted to clear it up for everyone who was confused. Yes, Sarah had already seen the apartment, but only in the sense of the mission not as a home she had a vested interest in. For example, she knew where the bedroom was but she wouldn't have noticed decorations she may have chosen. So, that paragraph was supposed to be more reflection than actually not knowing the surroundings. Sorry if this wasn't clear originally, I went back and edited a little. Thanks for all the reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

Chuck lay on top of the covers in their guest room, formerly belonging to Ellie and Awesome and subsequently to Morgan, now it was void of personal touches. Almost everyone they knew had lived in the same apartment complex, they reasoned, no need to decorate a room that would hardly be used. He hadn't bothered to take off his shirt, nor his pants, not even his sneakers. He had no motivation to do so, and he wasn't particularly tired so he didn't see the point.

For the moment, starting at the ceiling was the only action he could muster. He had no idea how long he laid there, hours probably. He couldn't even remember if he'd been thinking anything, just a persistent image of Sarah. Chuck was woken from his stupor by a scream from the next room.

He bolted from his bed to the room down the hall. Sarah was tossing in her bed mumbling what sounded like, "No, Chuck, please no."

Chuck shook her gently, trying to coax her awake. Her skin felt clammy to the touch. "Sarah, its ok, I'm here. Sarah, wake up."

Sarah's eyes flashed open and she sat bolt upright. "Are you ok?" Chuck asked scooting closer to her on the bed.

"I'm fine it was nothing, just a bad dream." Sarah responded, she was visibly shaken by the nightmare.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she said.

Chuck was taken aback by her answer, and more than a little hurt. He tried not to let it show on his face, but it did. Of course it did, he was Chuck Bartowski, king of emotions, he thought miserably.

Sarah wouldn't make eye contact with him. Chuck sighed, he had worked so hard to get Sarah to open up, and in the past six month he felt like he had finally succeeded. They talked to each other about hopes, dreams and emotions. Now he felt like they were starting from square one. Chuck wondered if he could go through that again.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Chuck ventured again.

Sarah nodded. After seeing the hurt look on Chuck's face she added, "My head hurts."

Chuck smiled a little, "Yea, it probably will for a while, your noggin has been through a lot lately."

Noggin? Sarah thought to herself, did she really fall in love with someone who used the word noggin?

"You should probably try to sleep more, it'll make your head feel better," Chuck said. His hand flinched towards her face to brush her hair out of her eyes, but he stopped it; he wasn't sure how she'd respond. He felt a flashing moment of hatred towards everyone and everything, how had he ended up here? God, he couldn't even touch his own wife at the moment when he would most like to pull her close and kiss her and never stop. He clenched his hand into a fist and let it drop to his lap.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep," Sarah responded.

"Would you feel better if I stayed?" Chuck asked hopefully.

"Yea, I guess," she said but she wasn't sure if that was true. She wanted that safe, comfortable feeling she had earlier when he held her on the beach. Was that selfish of her? To want that from a stranger she met only a few days ago, but somehow meant more to her than anyone she'd ever met.

"I'm just going to change ok?" Chuck said. Sarah nodded again.

Chuck kicked off his sneakers and walked over to his dresser. Facing away from Sarah he took off his jeans and button down. Sarah stared at the man in front of her in a pair of plaid boxers and white socks. He was lanky, but also muscular in a subtle way. Not the type of body Sarah was usually attracted to, but there was something about Chuck. She was undoubtably attracted to him, she couldn't look away.

Chuck put on pajama pants and a white t-shirt before turning back to the bed. Sarah started, snapping her mouth, which had been agape, shut and looking at his face rather than….well everywhere else.

"Sarah Walker, were you looking at my butt?" Chuck asked accusingly, waggling his eyebrows at her. Sarah flushed, Chuck had never seen her face this red.

Sarah had never been so embarrassed. Why was she so embarrassed? She had been caught checking out men in the past and never batted an eyelash. Why did Chuck affect her like this?

Chuck got into bed with her, Sarah shied away from him. "Sarah I was just kidding," Chuck said helplessly. He had hoped that his joke would break the ice. Everything had been so good on the beach, they were laughing and joking around. It was almost like nothing had changed, until he mentioned Morgan's stupid magic kiss idea. He had set their expectations so high only to have them come crashing down around them.

Sarah crawled under the covers, Chuck joined her but there was a buffer of space in between them. It reminded Chuck a lot of their first night together. Sarah had worn that purple outfit and he had lit candles and they both slept on opposite side of the bed because it was just a cover. Except it wasn't just a cover anymore, it hadn't been for a long time.

"Good night Sarah," Chuck whispered.

"Goodnight Chuck," Sarah whispered back.

Chuck couldn't sleep, he tossed around for a while trying to get comfortable, but truth was he hadn't slept well without Sarah since she moved in. Whenever she was away for the night he tossed and turned like he was now. Tonight it felt like she was a million miles away even though if Chuck rolled over, he could have touched her.

Sarah's head throbbed every time she moved, so she laid very still curled up in a ball. Sarah was exhausted. she couldn't remember the last time she slept well, it could have been five years ago for all she knew. As she began to drift back to sleep she thought about Chuck. She thought about him in his underwear and what it would be like to touch him. She thought about their kiss on the beach. She thought about rolling closer and snuggling closer to him. At that thought she shook her head making it throb painfully. She was a spy, not some high school girl. She shouldn't let her emotions control her like this.

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut and hoped for sleep to come. Eventually it did, but like earlier in the night, it was filled with nightmares.


End file.
